(Former President George Bush Jr.)
From our birth to our death, we continually crave comfort, warmth, and security in whatever form we can find it and no matter how unhealthy. Like in the job we hate but won't quit, in the jerk we're dating but won't dump, in material goods we don't need but won't stop buying. And judging by the rate of obesity in our country, the biggest won't of all, is in shoveling our faces with enough deep-fried, gut-busting, greasy, fatty foods which is sure to drive us to extinction. You know, much like how the asteroids did the dinosaurs in. They don't call it comfort food for nothing.
I know, I know in this economy to look for a job that would fuel your soul and nurture your talent is crazy talk. You can't fight the biological instinct for security much less take arms against the blood sucking vermin that is student loans. And after one too many Friday nights, alone, watching another episode of the roundly insufferable Suppernanny, that belching neanderthal you met speed dating doesn't seem so bad after all. And by the way, who am I to judge you, dear reader.
Well, from the vainglorious, self-congratulating perch of my adventure travels, it would be too easy for me to lecture you on one of our deepest, most abiding fears: the fear of risk and freedom. And as much as it would amuse me, and at the very least, help pass the time in my dank, underground dungeon of a hostel - I can't. My fear of risk and freedom reared its ugly head when it came time to leave the fuzzy bear world of Spanish school in Xela (Shay-la) for the Chuckie Part One, Two and Three world of the United States of Mexico. Yes, that's actually their real name. Who knew Mexico had states?
Checking the State Department's current warning for Mexico, I find its on high alert with the drug wars and most recently the abduction and murder of two U.S. citizens in Chihuahua. While these attacks are tragic and sad, the anxiety they generate cause most travelers to exaggerate the threat and danger to their lives. Considering this incident happened 2,000 miles from my first destination of San Cristobal, it made as much sense for me to cancel, as some of my fellow travelers did, as it would canceling a trip to Orlando, FL because of a murder in New York City. Seriously folks, has the US War on Drugs stop you from doing anything? Short of not driving through Compton wearing red or blue, its a safe bet to say it hasn't.
But that's what fear does - it pounces on our rational selves, grotesquely pawing at our vulnerabilities like a jaunty, beady-eyed jackal toying with its prey before consuming its meal. The anxiety and dread that fear causes is to keep us focused on, well, fear. Its a bigger megalomaniac than Donald Trump and like the three ex-wives who fell for him, focusing on fear constricts our world, wrecking havoc on our sense of self. By believing that we're helpless, gullible, battered donkeys incapable of facing life's challenges, our fear of reality grows so great and our sense of self so fragile, that the only solution is to seclude ourselves in a world of illusion. As if bypassing Mexico for Belize will thwart danger - like theirs no guns there, chicken monkey.
And that goes for you too if you think that dead-end job isn't killing your spirit or settling for less then your soul mate or buying crap you don't need. I know, I know we are all chafing under modern life and as an adult there are compromises to be made - another illusion or maybe that should be delusion. Now here's the real stinker, we make these excuses unconsciously because we're all too scared to face reality. After three rounds of martinis, the best we can do is wonder why we're not happy. Paying the tab, staggering towards the door we're sure something or someone will come along and make us happy, we just need to be patient and stick it out. We need these illusions, right, like I need coffee and a manzana filled churros, just to make it through the day.
Right about now, dear reader, your head probably hurts wondering why this couldn't be a normal travel blog. I hear you. You want pictures of breathtaking vistas, ancient colonial ruins, scrumptious local cuisine and a few amusing anecdotes. Not to wrestle with the existential musings of an over-caffeinated, Kafka zealot. And by the way, if you do find my notebooks, please burn them, no one need read about how I almost peed on myself digging for 4 pesos in my day pack to pay for the toilet. When the old lady wouldn't break my 50 I rushed past her, unzipping as I went straight to the hombre baño. I kept my eyes closed and did what I had to do. See, I'm not a total pontificating tyrant.
Now back to your lesson which is this - stop being a moronic, emotionally lazy, whining, procrastinating, squirrel monkey, who needs a nap every 15 minutes. Find some guts and go wrestle that beady-eyed fear jackal into a bloody pulp. Whew. Now, tell me that didn't feel good. Still not convinced? Consider this - giving into fear, over and over again, only creates new fears, backing you into a corner, narrowing your options with each passing year, until you lose everything that makes life vibrant.
As your snacking on that Cheese Whiz in a can, these are your options, you can either cling to nostalgic glimpses from your past to get you through a mediocre present and a dim, uncertain future. Or you can go find yourself some boxing gloves.
As for me, I'll spare you the nauseating, sickening, candy-coated gushing over what has turned out to be some of my best travels throughout Mexico to places like San Cristobal, Mexico City, Morelia, Oaxaca and upcoming adventures to Tulum and Playa del Carmen. It hasn't all been roses but to think if I hadn't let go of my unbearable, airless, migraine-inducing fear of a drug cartel showdown with Tony Soprano in Mexico City barking "Where's my bake ziti?" - I would have missed so much.
The sultry caress of a hot summer wind, laughing with new found friends, discovering the smokey-sweet flavor of Mezcal, my new favorite drink, are just a few of life's rewards for daring to believe in myself, to take a chance. Walking back to my hotel, with the same street smarts I use in Chicago, Orlando, New York or Atlanta, I wonder what else fear has caused me to miss. In the heart of this beautiful country, Maya Angelou's lesson on life is finally learned: to feel fear and retreat, is to struggle against life itself.
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